a poem by   DIANE HAVENS

my father wanders
the house at twilight
in an agitated state
tugging the curtains
grasping at blinds
checking rechecking
the dead bolts and chains

when darkness blurs vision
in his mind
he forgets
he forgets that
danger is not out there
not there that
it’s only the other side of day

the sun’s not quick enough in coming
and winter lingers long

we sit with him
until he sleeps
rockabye daddy
crossing himself
beating his breast
waiting for morning

longing for morning

I hate to drive the highways
much past dusk
these days
my older eyes
high beams
white outs
burn black holes
checking rechecking blind spots
mistrusting mirrors
I turn
some unseen speeding maniac
behind me
gripping ever tighter to the wheel
wanting to stop
needing to stop

but I’m too far from home


© Diane Havens, 2018

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